Thank you everyone for being so patient, I am still working on my patience as well. As you may have guessed everything took longer than expected; the surgery, the recovery, time spent in Ohio, etc. The doctor said I would be in the hospital 3-5 days, what he should have said is that I would be in the hospital 35 days. He definitely would have been a lot closer. 28 days in the hospital, 2 weeks at the cottage, and undetermined amount of days until I make a full recovery. I’m still reminding myself that I need to take things slow.
In the hospital I was focusing on getting the heck out of there as soon as possible. On the day they finally released me I remember sending my mother ahead to pull the car around waiting in the wheel chair wondering how pissed they’d be if I just reversed my way right out of the hospital. My arms were too weak to roll myself, but I was pretty sure my legs were strong enough to get me there. Finally the man who was to transport me down to the car arrived.
Boy, did he arrive, all 5’10” 350 lbs of him arrived. My first thought is, okay here is the deal – no detours, chatting with your transporter buds, or bathroom breaks, and just because this hospital has its own zip code does not mean we can’t shave a few seconds off the fastest time ever released, because I AM OUT-TA-HERE! My second is he is pretty big, and kinda scary looking, I should probably keep my mouth shut.
Looking back know I realize ever since that moment I have been in a hurry. Getting frustrated with myself and my body for not healing as quickly as I think it should. Feeling the need to throw a temper tantrum at the world screaming this is some bulls#@t! It’s taking too long, I’m missing too much of my life!
Thanks to my family’s love and guidance I am trying to look at my recovery time a little differently than the impatient little girl inside of me. I have decided to reconnect with my Gentle Wind-ness. For those of you that did not know me in that time Gentle Wind is a magical store that I worked at prior to my car accident as well as a couple of months after I recovered. It was my sanctuary, my happy thought, my home. It was a metaphysical, spiritual, wellness store that in short was all things healing. I don’t think I have ever been as happy as I was when Gentle Wind was apart of my life. I felt needed, connected, and enlightened all at the same time. It was the smile on my face when I woke up and the deep breath when I went to sleep. It involved stones, oils, beliefs, and education. It was the first door to walk through when searching for meaning in your life. Unfortunately Gentle Wind no longer resides in Columbus, but I hope to find something similar in my new hometown. Since I have chosen this part of me to reconnect with, waiting for my body to catch up doesn’t seem so difficult. In fact I have been more filled with hope than I can remember being in a long time.
As my Dad so eloquently put it, I can’t be filleted open like a fish on the operating table and expect to heal quickly. Haha! Graphic, but he is right. My body still needs time to recover. In the meantime I’ll be here fulfilling my dream of writing and remembering a part of myself, once misplaced but never lost.
Copyright © 2013 Carly Speelman
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