Hello Again!


Thank you everyone for being so patient, I am still working on my patience as well. As you may have guessed everything took longer than expected; the surgery, the recovery, time spent in Ohio, etc. The doctor said I would be in the hospital 3-5 days, what he should have said is that I would be in the hospital 35 days. He definitely would have been a lot closer. 28 days in the hospital, 2 weeks at the cottage, and undetermined amount of days until I make a full recovery. I’m still reminding myself that I need to take things slow.

In the hospital I was focusing on getting the heck out of there as soon as possible. On the day they finally released me I remember sending my mother ahead to pull the car around waiting in the wheel chair wondering how pissed they’d be if I just reversed my way right out of the hospital. My arms were too weak to roll myself, but I was pretty sure my legs were strong enough to get me there. Finally the man who was to transport me down to the car arrived.

Boy, did he arrive, all 5’10” 350 lbs of him arrived. My first thought is, okay here is the deal – no detours, chatting with your transporter buds, or bathroom breaks, and just because this hospital has its own zip code does not mean we can’t shave a few seconds off the fastest time ever released, because I AM OUT-TA-HERE! My second is he is pretty big, and kinda scary looking, I should probably keep my mouth shut.

Looking back know I realize ever since that moment I have been in a hurry. Getting frustrated with myself and my body for not healing as quickly as I think it should. Feeling the need to throw a temper tantrum at the world screaming this is some bulls#@t! It’s taking too long, I’m missing too much of my life!

Thanks to my family’s love and guidance I am trying to look at my recovery time a little differently than the impatient little girl inside of me. I have decided to reconnect with my Gentle Wind-ness. For those of you that did not know me in that time Gentle Wind is a magical store that I worked at prior to my car accident as well as a couple of months after I recovered. It was my sanctuary, my happy thought, my home. It was a metaphysical, spiritual, wellness store that in short was all things healing. I don’t think I have ever been as happy as I was when Gentle Wind was apart of my life. I felt needed, connected, and enlightened all at the same time. It was the smile on my face when I woke up and the deep breath when I went to sleep. It involved stones, oils, beliefs, and education. It was the first door to walk through when searching for meaning in your life. Unfortunately Gentle Wind no longer resides in Columbus, but I hope to find something similar in my new hometown. Since I have chosen this part of me to reconnect with, waiting for my body to catch up doesn’t seem so difficult. In fact I have been more filled with hope than I can remember being in a long time.

As my Dad so eloquently put it, I can’t be filleted open like a fish on the operating table and expect to heal quickly. Haha! Graphic, but he is right. My body still needs time to recover. In the meantime I’ll be here fulfilling my dream of writing and remembering a part of myself, once misplaced but never lost.

Copyright © 2013 Carly Speelman

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11 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    Carly~ Thank you so much for sharing this! I’ve had you on my mind lately and was so pleased to receive this today! While nothing near to your experience, I too, am struggling with how long it has taken me to recover from my Achilles tendon rupture surgery. The doctor said it would be at minimum 6-12 months, and it’s only been 5 months, so it’s one day of progress at a time! I cannot imagine how difficult your life has been all these years since the accident, but I certainly honor and respect you for your courage and strength throughout the process! You have an awesome family, and we certainly miss you all in the neighborhood! May God continue to heal and strengthen you and bless you as you are such a blessing to us all! Love, hugs, and prayers, ~Sherri Wheeler

  2. Thank you so much Sherri! Recovery is a trying time but it has turned into a good way for me to cross a couple of “I’ve always wanted to’s” off of my bucket list, I hope you are able to do the same! Take care!

  3. Anonymous

    Carly, your words inspire me and help lift me to a place of hope and gratitude. Lately, I too have been longing for the Gentle-Wind ness that you so eloquently described. The connections, the feeling so connected to a higher purpose, co-workers,and customers. That inner knowing that each day would be filled with magic, wonder, and so many incredible moments that touched my heart & soul. You are one of the special ones that I will always carry in my heart ~ for I had the pleasure of knowing you before and after that life-altering accident. The courage you continue to show, the honesty of your words and frustrations, and that incredible spirit that you are continues to shine so brightly. Much love and prayers to you Carly girl!

    Rebecca

  4. My Rebecca!

    Whether in light or darkness I hear you in my heart. Thank you, and as always I miss you more than words can express. Hope our paths will once again cross, I will have a big hug waiting! Hope you are well and happy as you deserve the very best. Thank you for reading and feel free to call or write anytime!

  5. Jane Hazeltine

    Another fantastic blog. Carly, you have so much to offer in this world. There needs to be more honesty and talked-about frustrations between people and especially friends and relatives. Much love to you as you continue on your journey of recovery.
    Aunt Jane

  6. Carly
    What can I say Gentle Wind lives in the hearts and souls of many of us. We need only to look inside and find it. When I come back to Ohio I find it sad that as a place we no longer exist but in our hearts and minds we can still bring it back. It is like losing my soul mate Daniel he is not here on the physical plane but I can connect with him whenever I choose to open to possibilities. Thank you for keeping the vision and dream of GW alive. I am in Florida doing work at a shelter for battered women and children and I am learning healing is on so many more levels than even I imagined. I hope for you all the best.
    Much Love and Many Blessings.
    Annie

  7. Annie!!! It is so great to hear from you! Yes, Gentle Wind will always be apart of me. Not sure if I ever said thank you, but from the bottom of my heart thank you. Would love to hear more of how you are and what else you have been up to. I will send you an email so that you will have mine. Take care and again, thank you for Gentle Wind.

  8. Anonymous

    I’m so happy you are trying to get back to that happy spiritual place. It’s a very WELL deserved place you need to be! You’ve been through A LOT! YOu must be relieved that the surgery is over. I hope for a very speedy recovery in this next place of healing, as well as a healing in your mind and soul. It’s incredible how all three are so connected. When one is off balance, it throws everything else off!! Take a day at a time and continue to have a positive mind…everything else will follow : ) XOXO

  9. Anonymous

    P.S That was from me lol, forgot to sign my name….

    Danielle Guenther (Sapienza)

  10. Haha! Thanks Danielle! I am very happy it is over and excited to be back! Hope you and your family are well, take care!

  11. Teresa Kennedy

    Carly! My Angel! I ran across this blog quite by accident, and I’m so happy I did! You were a brilliant ray of sunshine in our GW family. It sounds like you recently had surgery? I wish such wonderful things for you. Where are you living now? Patience is something I have no patience for! Take care, friend. xoxoxo

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